The “Perfect Mother”

You can be a "Perfect Mother" and still "Let It Go"

Call it an instinct, a feeling, an inner voice. That something inside every Mother, that personal sentiment that you just have to have it all. It is as if we need to prove to the world that we can be the “Perfect Mother”…

…living in the perfect home…

…with our perfect family…

…and solid marriage…

…raising well-behaved, intelligent children…

We can drive carpool, pay the bills, provide homework help, pack a healthy lunch, be romantic with our husband, do a week’s worth of grocery shopping, dress so as not to embarrass our tween daughter, take the baby to swim lessons, put in eight hours at the office and still cook a fabulous Coq A Vin. When you think about it, most all of us feel this way. We are all in a similar boat, therefore, what do we have to prove to one another? And why do we put the pressure on ourselves?

Moms need to learn how to "let it go"...Pick your battles, schedule me-time, stop trying to be the Perfect Mother. Listen to your heart. Listen to your tribe. You're not alone.I’ve learned some hard lessons over the last 26 years of attempting to be a Perfect Mother. Some of those lessons have stuck right away while others have taken their own sweet time sinking into my psyche. Three children later, I am still learning. Learning and adjusting to the ever-changing dynamics of my own family. The number one lesson, the Golden Rule that I have learned is to “let it go”.

Let it go.

Left-overs for dinner are o.k. Your son’s wrinkled pants are o.k. The dirt on the floor is o.k. The store-bought brownies for the class bake sale are o.k.

Let it go.

Take a few minutes to prioritize your day.  Look over that list.   What are the things that you can just let go of today? Time spent connecting with your family seems to be the easiest thing on your mental list to let go of, but that is really the worst mistake you can make. The kids don’t give a rip about the layer of dust on the coffee table. This stands true for the baby, the 12 year old and the 16 year old. The dust, the fingerprints on the French doors, and the laundry will still be there tomorrow. Prioritize.

Are you a Mom that lives by the checklist? Learn to "let it go"....

I am the Master of the “To Do” lists. Lists are how I keep my sanity. There is the daily list of things that absolutely have to happen that day. There is the general list posted on the refrigerator door of household duties that need to be completed every week. The Big List is stuff that just needs to happen sooner or later, like checking out summer camps or dropping off the kids outgrown clothing to Goodwill. But, when your very private teenage son comes home from school ranting about his social life and just needs you to listen, take that list and…

Let it go. 

The most important time to “let it go”, and also the most difficult to master, is during a family conflict. You must learn to fast forward in your mind’s eye to the potential outcome. The ill-feelings resulting from an argument over what your daughter is wearing to school today are just not worth it. (Granted, there are limitations to that argument alone, but that is a whole different discussion.) She wants to wear two different colored socks because her friends are doing the same and God-forbid she is the odd one out, what do you do? You let it go. Praise her independent spirit for going out in public in such an outfit. Know your limitations, when to walk away and when to push forward. You will find, as I have many times over, that to walk away from the argument allows me to view the bigger picture. There is no rule saying that you cannot revisit the “conversation” at a later time and by doing so, you can approach your child, husband, sibling or friend with a calm attitude and organized thoughts.

Having it all is really just a matter of self-opinion. One Perfect Mother’s version greatly varies from another. Many times we need to step back and view the bigger picture. Is what I am accomplishing today going to have a great effect next year?  Or 10 years from now?

Moms need to learn how to "let it go"...Pick your battles, schedule me-time, stop trying to be the Perfect Mother. Listen to your heart. Listen to your tribe. You're not alone.Ask yourself now about the things that you have regretted having done or not done and make the appropriate changes.  Think about what you may regret in the future and take the steps to ensure that those regrets never surface.

And let the rest go.

We can drive carpool, pay the bills, provide homework help, pack a healthy lunch, be romantic with our husband, do a week's worth of grocery shopping, dress so as not to embarrass our tween daughter, take the baby to swim lessons, put in 8 hours at the office and still cook a fabulous Coq A Vin.....where's the pressure?Click To Tweet

 

Here We Go!

This is it, my friends.  No more procrastination.  Moving forward, sometimes in great strides, sometimes with baby steps, but forward.  I have always written.  Written poems, stories, in diaries, letters, little notes here and there, but now I’m going to put it out there, for all the world to see, if they so choose.  And I’m hoping that they do.  Join me on this journey and I can promise you that at some point I will make you laugh, make you say “ooooo, I thought that I was the only person that ever happened to”, make you think, make you think that I am crazy, make you feel like family, or maybe make you take the first step towards that little idea that’s always been in the back of your mind. 

My intention, for now, is to just write about life.  Life’s happenings, life changes.  Things that maybe we don’t often say out loud, but really wished that someone would speak up about.  Most of my life experiences revolve around my family, more specifically, my children.  And I think that I have a few tales to weave.  Stay tuned….